Making Sense of Faith
I was raised Catholic and it was a dress hat never quite fit. A hand-me-down which someone else had loved, but against my skin it itched and irritated.
Jesus, I could get behind, the church itself not so much. I tried my hardest and in catechism classes, while everyone else sat obediently, their minds drifting, I was alert and asking questions. I wanted to understand, to make sense of the dichotomies and contradictions, but apparently, those sessions were not the right place for that, and I was asked to leave.
Flash forward to my Catholic secondary school. I had the most amazing R.E teacher, Mr. O’Donovan. He had fallen away from the seminary but continued his love for religion and all too often our classes descended into lively debate, in which my questions were welcomed. Within the time constraints of one hour a week of course.
Now I’m an adult raising my own children and I’m still asking questions. I’ve spent long hours listening to each of the prophets and all who came after. The structures built around their ideas never appeal, it seems we find it too easy to take the simplest of notions and coat it in rule, dogma, and judgment, and in the process continually lose our way.
Am I a person of faith? Yes, without a doubt. My faith and personal belief system draws on the teachings of many, of the truth evident in nature and the energies that flow through all that we do.
I believe we each are born with an internal compass, that if we learn how to be quiet, how to listen, we will always find our true north.
At one point during my teen years, I got very attached to the idea of life as a tube map. Living in London I saw them every day and it seemed so simple as to make perfect sense. Your start and endpoint are fixed in stone, there is no changing that, but along the journey, you have many options, places where you can spend a little time before inevitably continuing onward. There are some people, though very few, who happen to be on the same journey with you, same start and the same end. They may go off for a time, but they will return again and again, remaining a constant in your life. Others will only be in your carriage for a single stop and something about them will catch your attention, others will come and go on your periphery, while you may be much more than that to them.
I liked the continual motion of my tube carriage and its map, I found it reassuring and when it comes to mind, even now, I still do.
Faith is a sense of trust and without sounding too fluffy, has an echo of the sensation of love. Open and expansive it doesn’t hold you back or down, it elevates you, moving you forward through the tunnels of life which can sometimes be so dark we lose sight of ourselves. Faith in ourselves keeps us moving, faith in others tells us we are not alone and faith in the energy and power that is eternal, that offers us purpose.
The religions have so much to offer but teachings can come from every source imaginable when we remain open and keep the light of our faith burning.
This piece was written thanks to a monthly theme from Illuminate, a writing community from The Kindred Voice.
Read more pieces on “faith” from other Illuminate members:
Opening Up to Faith by Amy Clark
Faith by Amy Rich
Something to Believe In by Sarah Hartley
Pesticides and Jesus by Liz Russell
losing my religion. by Eunice Brownlee
Indian Lilac Brings Me Home: Reflections On Relationships by Laci Hoyt
Twinkling Lights of Faith by Mia Sutton
Image Credit to Francesco Mastalia